OK cool alright. Yeah…

Should I start? Go for it.

I’m Jamie Lee, and I teach ninth grade at government in Oklahoma, history

in the suburbs, in the summer, in the burbs.

And I’m Stephanie Bauer

and I teach third grade social studies and science,

I guess in the Midtown Yeah.

Area, right?

Are you private?

That’s right. I’m like, Yes, I’m public.

I go to like and they’re like, No, and no, I wasn’t.

I just felt like that kinda tells you what my demographic is,

and I’m Erin Peyton, and I’m

not a teacher anymore, but I used to be.

And OK,

I think the first thing, something that Rick and I have been talking about a lot.

In fact, just before you guys got here is talking about our why, why

we teach.

And so even I just kind of just want to spitball things.

I mean, even like what

things like as a kid like I knew from the second

I was in second grade with my teacher, Mrs.

Evans, that I was going to be a teacher at my aunt.

Nancy, like her classroom was like my cool weekend hang

you go and hang out in your classroom.

And she would just like, show me what she was doing.

I mean, I and I was getting for Christmas.

I was asking for this little slight grader skills,

but that was my Christmas present.

So anyway, my why there’s a little bit of

it is just in my blood, but also I mean,

the connection that I have and feel with kids, I mean, it is just it

sounds selfish or it kind of gives me life too.

I mean, it’s just so meaningful to get to spend

time and get to know and be with kids.

So I don’t know whenever I get opera, expand on this that I know.

What are your wives?

What are some reasons you are teaching?

You go for it.

I grew up in the oldest

out of like my mom’s sisters.

So I was the oldest cousin.

Yeah.

So I always babysat your babies. Yes.

And so I knew that

like spending time with kids like, I mean, that really does fill your cup.

I mean, it pushes your limits and it makes you stretch.

But it does.

I mean, it kind of makes you stay kind of fresh and young.

Yes, I agree with that.

So then when I went to college, education was not my first major.

Oh, what was it?

Psychology, which I think like this kind of goes along like, sure.

Were you like hesitant through education

or were you like, deterred from that in some way?

Or do you just think like the sounds wild?

Are that?

Yeah, I think like education majors, right?

Switching to education.

So I was dating my husband at the time and his mom was a teacher.

So kind of the same lines is the experience I had, the experience

of listening to Chris’s mom, talk about it

and got to spend time in her classroom.

And so I think that’s what made me shift like, OK.

And I don’t want to go to school forever because I’m a four year

degree is not there is not anything that was going to serve his purpose. So

yeah, and once I got into

my education classes, I was like, Okay, like, this is what it means to like,

love what you do.

You know, before then it was just kind of, yeah.

But yeah, it was like, OK, this is still we all went to OSU.

Oh, darling, we all graduated.

They were asking me, like you. I was sorry.

I just make that comparison.

Oklahoma State Girls Education Department.

Willard Willard Yes.

Very nice.

So cool.

So was teaching

what you thought it was going to be like when you were in your classes here?

This is what I love,

I think.

I mean, it set me up with like knowledge,

but I don’t think it set me up with the skill set that I need

to manage people.

Yeah, that means yes.

And like all that encompasses.

Right?

Yeah, right, right.

Of course, they’re going to know that I love them.

But how do you like build those relationships like that?

It’s just trial by fire, you know?

Where are you in that?

And if it is that kind of, yeah, if it isn’t something that is

a natural thing to you, I mean, you really are just left out there

for the wolves you’re laying, you’re just have to figure it out.

And what a impossible or not impossible.

What a tough thing to go about by yourself.

And we do that to do that.

I felt like that too, right?

When I hear, I don’t know if they learned anything.

Yeah, I just kept my mind to remind you that, yeah, yeah, they were they.

They lived. Yes, they

can say that.

But I remember getting my job like my first job and closing the door

and then like.

OK, this is my room.

1. It’s like, where’s the adult? Oh,

and you are teaching big kids and you’re only 22 years old?

Yeah, right?

Yeah.

Oh, like, I taught seventh grade my first year

and then my second year I taught.

I taught the whole gamut of high school and I was 23

and I had a 20 year old in class.

Oh yeah. Wow.

This shouldn’t be happening.

That is wild.

Yeah, for sure.

Wow. Wow.

And I was, I mean, I was I was.

He was a baby.

I was a baby like, you know,

you figured it out together. Yeah.

I was walking down the hallway.

My first year in the school, nurse yelled at me to tuck in your shirt,

tuck in your shirt, and then I finally turned around and I was like, I work here,

big 22 year old shirt .

I was like, Man, my keys.

OK, so Jamie, what’s your wife to right?

Oh goodness, I know you’re white, no matter what

is called youth ministry in college.

Aaron’s mom actually kind of like tied the boat for me,

if that makes sense at all.

So I always loved history.

Like, literally, we were going home on vacations

and my dad and I would like go to the historical sites of my mom and sister.

We go to like Johnny.

I like that cemetery.

I know. Yeah, that kind of ally. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

So internally, you know, I always loved history, but

it wasn’t something like I always had

male history teachers and like, they weren’t all coaches.

And I want to preface that with like, I work with some incredible teachers

who were coaches that care about their classroom.

And that whole adage is not true.

And when I was

in school, I think it was, it was I was in that sense.

Yeah.

You know,

not not fully know there were many, many of them,

but there were a lot of coaches that were teaching kids who they had to teach.

Yes, for sure.

So and they didn’t look like me.

And then our sophomore year of high school,

we got a brand-new teacher and she’s from South Africa and is Kelly.

And she’s remarkable.

She’s incredible.

I didn’t even tell her, like she was like,

We’ll go to coffee and I’m like, I like, it’s so ridiculous.

And she actually got me the job I’m teaching now.

And so I.

She, like, made it OK for me to like history

where it was something that I had kind of like not shared, but you know, like

you’re at that age, you just like everything is just like going, you know?

And I didn’t want people to know. And so

so I kind to have that in the background.

And then I got like, I got called the youth ministry.

But I think it was like

your typical youth ministry like position and I was sitting at the table

at your house right now, OK?

Mm hmm.

And her mom was like, Well, you should be your history teacher of history.

And it was like, this light bulb went off and I was like,

Oh, that’s what I the doo dah like, Oh my God, how the puzzle pieces.

It was just like she was just like, Well, honey, this is what you deal.

And it was just like, Never look back.

So, yeah, she just like, tied the package and all of that.

But yeah.

And how did it like your first couple of years?

How did they feel for you?

Um, I was the only female, so I got the job at the first school.

I was out and it’s horrible and not the school the adults actually

want.

And some people who were teachers, it shouldn’t be teachers anymore.

And really, I wanted to go home

like I wanted to be at the school that we graduated from, and so

I’m not sure I’m still not comfortable with.

So I position came open and I went

and I interviewed and I got hired by one of our former teachers.

And she called me back the next day and she had

hired me for a fifth grade position, assuming I was elementary.

Oh goodness.

She looked at my application was like, Oh, your secondary?

So that was like a total blow.

So I was like, It’s OK.

Like, I’m just going to, like,

grow up into them and go back and it’s going to be OK.

And then a week before school started

this of called me, it was like, Hey, can you be here in 30 minutes?

We have a position of Ben when we would interview you.

But yeah, so I went literally, like, interviewed at nine

and got the job at ten resided, eleven, pack my stuff up and got there.

And like, you learn it like it was crazy.

So I don’t remember all of that.

So then

I just like got thrown into much bigger kids

because at that point, government was junior seniors and Oklahoma was freshmen.

And so I have,

you know, kids who are three and four years older or younger than me, either.

And even my freshman were like eight, nine years younger than me.

So I was like, It’s crazy anything right now.

Yeah.

So it was hard because I was the only female she left after that first year,

and so she actually went to the school.

I came from a different building in the district.

I came back and she.

She said I was in a girl and I was in my mid twenties,

and you know, everything I did was a lovey dovey

and hokey and, you know, I got my.

It’s funny

to think back now, because now I’m back on, but then I didn’t.

And I remember getting in trouble for using remind one to one

like and now the school.

Yeah, they had like a school account, and I’m like, like, it was so inappropriate.

Or what? Yes.

So you were communicating with your students and I’m like, Well,

this is a way to do. Oh, I’m not interesting.

Not be inappropriate. Like, they don’t have my phone number.

No, they can’t text me.

Like, I respond as Class one Sir at the time.

And like, I needed to communicate with them.

And I was like, I’ve had this really cool thing on Pinterest. Yeah.

It was just starting.

I called it the principal number.

I think I yelled at her while I cried.

And now, you know,

this is my 14th year in my district.

And to now, like, that’s probably two years ago, I was like,

I’m sure you have a big a school district account,

like whatever that you were on at your time.

Yeah, trailblazers.

But because I didn’t ever feel.

Respected, yeah, and to this to this day,

there’s still a little bit of pushback on

why I

I assume it’s

that I’m not what they think they’re going to get like because you’re a woman.

What do you say now?

Because I’m on the earlier side?

Yeah, because I’m

I think they think I look like them.

Like I fit in the moment.

I don’t fit in their mold like politically.

And yeah,

when that comes kind of about,

that’s really triggering for fantasy and not just the administration.

Like the parents, I get the most complaints

of the history

department, and I know it’s something going to say

that I get complaints, but I’ll say something just like factually.

And yeah, I had a woman in Congress

and periodic table on my wall

and like, it literally just shows like the women.

Yeah, yeah.

And I got a phone call from a parent saying I had propagande on.

That’s just showing like,

these are elected officials only like or you’re in a female government?

Yes. Yes.

Yeah.

It’s so funny and it’s funny now.

But it wasn’t. It’s not.

I mean, it’s not, but it is because it’s like, whatever, you’re crazy.

Well, you said something that made me think

and I don’t know, but I would think you would be kind of like this too.

But my first year, how you said you were really lovey dovey

and just like, like, didn’t you just love the kids also?

Was that was there anything that you had to learn

or unlearn or like grow from being like that first?

Like, I mean, I don’t mean to put my experience on you all,

but I know I was just like, Oh, my baby is my babies. Yay.

And so I I know they left my first year knowing that I loved them.

Like, I know my kids left knowing that,

but I don’t know if they left knowing much more.

So I certainly had to lay okay, even though they needed to out,

you know, maybe that was the most important thing they need,

but I certainly had to like, you know, build up my weak spots like that.

That was definitely something I had to improve upon on my first year.

Did you guys at all? I don’t know. Or maybe you guys

know that I I agree.

Like I didn’t have the I don’t know how to set the boundaries.

Yeah, with the cameras.

And yes, I think as I got a little bit farther

in, I, well, I actually moved my first year I had.

I felt like a really good principal as I was going in,

and she was pretty loosey goosey

about just how she was set up.

And I didn’t feel like I had a lot of support.

Like with behavior and there are some pretty big behavior issues.

So when I moved to another school, it was a completely different experience.

I realized, Okay, this is how supposed to be.

I need someone, especially as 23 year old first year teacher,

why do I need someone to help me not keep it in a box?

But yeah, kind of have.

Here’s where this is.

OK, this is past. This is what I’m going to deal with.

This is what you need to deal with in your classroom

because I felt like I don’t know what to do feel like.

I’ve been like

laying that out to you in a kind way and not any like criticizing way.

My listening to you. You are new at this.

I totally get it. You will learn, right?

Here’s what you should do.

Or here’s what works for me. Let’s let’s talk about that, right?

What do you think would be you would be comfortable with?

And then that would of been great.

We don’t do that to teachers, and I certainly didn’t

feel comfortable like approaching veteran teachers with that.

I mean, I mean, I would talk and have a good rapport with my fellow teachers.

But I mean, if I was really struggling, I felt like,

well, shit, I had to figure this out, right?

And I was really thinking, I have to figure this out.

It wasn’t even really an option.

I didn’t feel right to like

or someone saying, just do what you feel like feels best.

Yes, no, I need.

first of all, I need you to come watch my class.

Yes, I can come watch your class.

Someone needs to come in here so I can watch and see how this is done

because I did my internship in third grade and then I ended up teaching

first grade.

And that’s a big difference for those caring first graders.

Not everyone knows how to read like it’s a big you’re teaching such

different fundamental things.

Wow. What do you think

the bills will rise during your on 30 Rock?

Just wait till fifth grade is that

that is fresh, though in the spring are going to.

It’s only nice. And actually, that’s probably real good.

Yeah, no.

I said, don’t play football and I’m like, Please don’t

just stand in the industry and pray for some for free.

Ray Rice for baby shower.

That’s funny.

Um, well.

What are some things that you guys do that really?

You connect with your kids like I.

one of the things that I miss because I.

As a classroom teacher, I did second grade in third grade

in fifth grade, and oh my goodness, I loved having my own kids

and even in fifth grade when they traveled and I taught all of fifth grade

like it was still, you know what, 40 minutes to an hour

plus with them every day.

And it was just I loved having my own classes, and so I

am such a words of affirmation person.

And so I would write letters.

And I don’t know if my kids even felt this.

But I mean, I would.

It would be like,

you know, when the kids aren’t in the room or at home or something.

And like, I would pour my heart out like I love best about you.

I love this about you. And I meant it. And I,

you know, they just so well.

I have no idea, but that I felt like my words were like,

I don’t know the best thing that I personally could give them or something.

So I don’t know. I was just curious what other teachers do.

What do you guys do to connect with your babies?

Because I know you guys are both like heart.

Get to the heart of your kids.

That’s what I love about you, though,

and I start with just being really vulnerable.

Yeah.

And like on my own accord, yes.

And at first, it’s super awkward. Like, what does that look like?

What are you talking about?

Just being like, you know, guys, I’m having a really bad mental day.

We learned to meditate or like, we’re going to just pivot

and really do this or, you know, just being really honest

. My mom died in January.

Mm-Hmm. And and it was unexpected.

And so just like being really open, like having a really bad day about that

and so like how powerful that for them to get to see a mom

like their teacher modeling what healthy emotions look like?

I’m sorry, I know you go, Yeah,

these are my big reactions.

I have a lot of passion.

I know that. I know I was like, What? I think.

I know it’s so hard because it’s like.

Reasonable hard with any bad air, but that’s something I’m really working on.

And so just being here, but also having a boundary of like,

obviously not oversharing

but shouting soon enough.

You know, it’s crazy.

Like again, I don’t know how little kids are.

Assume they’re probably the same or more.

So just like shares, they just like, say, Oh yes, oh yes, like and mine them

like he wants the thing that you were a freshman and like you say,

no matter what, your mom doesn’t want to happen.

So I just really, you know, and we just and I just think it’s one of those.

I indoctrinate

them with my love and tell they know it’s true.

And so I just keep repeating myself and we have like a class motto and

I make them see Nancy saying they get so they’re so funny about it.

Like, You can make me do that.

I like myself.

How do you like me to do it?

I like nobody can so that they’re just like, we were made on purpose for every.

You know, this minute is like me feeling, you know?

But I know because they’ve told me,

you know, when they’re older, like, you’re

the only is to self-righteous and this is not please don’t hit.

I’m like, you know,

you’re the only person that like was speaking to me like that.

Do you know?

I mean, and that is like, Oh my gosh.

Well, that’s the thing. Like a lot of people, I think.

And. Kind of disregard you if you’re a teacher

that’s in a private school or a suburban school

and where the kid seems like, have it all and then she shit like,

you know, sometimes they have it worse than because their parents like, love them

and they’re like, basic needs aren’t met, but like, you can give a kid a sandwich.

But like, you can’t get again.

I talked to our emotional support

or the ability to process emotions or, you know what I mean when you’re,

you know, I have multiple kids this year that, you know, you know,

I’m sure I don’t know that you’ve seen just like crazy behavior stuff.

But like,

we’ve just seen this crazy behavior stuff like I’ve never had to deal with before.

We’re like, Oh my gosh, what? What are you talking about?

I don’t like you forgot how to pick people literally do school.

It’s like, That’s weird.

I’m like Baby Chow and I’m your home now.

I feel just like things I’ve never had to deal with over my life.

Like, I don’t have a lot of discipline issues. Yeah,

I just don’t. And.

This year has been I mean, literally, I lost, I can’t tell you

the embarrassing moment I lost my Typekit so that I missed my voice,

that simple principle coach Bill Russell.

He was a teacher of an old school stuff between me and the children

like, I’m going to take them.

And I’m going to let you have yeah.

No, I don’t think that’s probably a good idea.

I probably needed. OK.

And there was another like one of my history coaches in the hallway

and he was like, Oh my God, my body’s power.

That is not me, is I don’t lose either.

I just don’t because I don’t have to.

Yeah, I was like, pretty.

Yeah, even when I get mad, I just get like, Oh, yes, that’s character.

But I was like, Yes, I cannot tell you how they had thrown

a water bottle at the sub the day before, and I just read that sub no.

And like I was processing with my teacher varsity outside, like, what do I do?

Because it was overflowing

into two of my little sweetheart girls came out

and they were just drenched in water and they had put a water on them.

And I was just like, Your lives are gone, like, I am all right.

Like, just like I have never had to deal with.

But they were in seventh grade and that happened.

And that’s how they asked kids, you know, they talk about like when you do trauma

training, trauma training, and then

they talk about how, like when the trauma happens,

you kind of revert back to that age.

The trauma happens twice just seven years.

I observe and I’m just like, You are 63 first graders, right?

Right.

We have and my teacher like wife, that’s next to me

in an adjoining closet and we need at the interrogation room.

We get no joy in my.

And I have put

so late.

Yeah. Yes.

Where were you on that?

And I do.

That’s funny. Where were you doing specials?

I had an issue where some things were missing

and we kind of had an idea of what was happening.

And actually we.

My friend called me Nancy Drew,

because I think you’re on to something.

I’m in a hat and the main event, God, because I was not prepared.

He was in the middle of the day when I figured everything out

because I was like death’s door. Yeah. Hmm.

I’m putting this together.

You know, you’re in third grade.

I’m smarter than you, right?

I know who did it.

And I mean, I just really pushed.

I really pushed with her.

And because I knew she did it, she wouldn’t.

She wouldn’t admit it.

But I used some scary teacher.

Yes, tactics.

And but I it’s just a very weird year

and we were in school last year. Yes.

So we were for the most part. Yeah.

So I can’t blame the fact that, you know, we were out for a semester.

It’s just it’s a very, very strange.

And it’s across the gamut. That’s what I have.

But there are there is no teacher like I’ve heard up north, down

super deep south, like all of like people who didn’t go to school at all

could believe in school the whole time, like we were out from, well,

like the first week or two of November.

Yeah.

And tell them, Well, we have the ice storm, OK,

three distance learning during that.

It’s not nothing like 1,000,000 days, but so we were back in school

like late February.

OK? And like it is, I’m like, What is that?

What is happening with literally like once a day and like,

do we need to talk about second grade procedures?

And it’s like stuff that I’m just not.

I just don’t have some horrible.

I’m trying to work on it, but I don’t have the reserve of patience for it

because I’m not used to. It doesn’t sound horrible.

And so I just go home and I’m exhausted.

Well, that’s what I was going to ask is like, what effect is that having on

you guys talk about effect like it makes me feel very ineffective

because I feel like I’m working on teaching them how to do school.

And then there’s all this.

Academic,

it’s kind of being pushed aside, and it’s the same academic plans

that I’ve done for the last four years since I’ve been at this school.

So I step back and I really reflect and I feel like,

Gosh, what can I do different?

But have you thought of anything like what?

Well, it seems to give.

A lot of

third grade is tricky because third grades

a transition year from lower elementary to upper elementary.

And I think that they’re building sorry, not at Metro,

no, but it’s the first year that they trade classes have gotten.

They’re accountable, like they’re switching

from like a checklist for skills to grades.

So that’s it’s a big shift and it’s a big shift as a parent,

and I can appreciate that because I can’t do that with my kids, but.

I just feel like I’m

having I’m having to support which I’m happy to do,

but it’s feels strange to constantly

give like here’s some steady skill advice,

which before I would feel like I was being silly

and yeah, like defensive, you guys.

Yeah, you’re not babies, but I’m having to give that advice

to parents and kids of here’s some ideas, so I don’t know.

I don’t know for just everyone’s busy.

I don’t know what.

But no, I think everybody shares ones.

Yeah, we’re just down here. Is it rebound?

That’s what I think.

Yeah, we’ll talk more about that. I just think everybody.

I think the kids are in a trauma response.

But we, we

I say we I’m not included in this, but I think the majority of Oklahomans

just want to pretend like the pain that happened now

from the get go and they want to make it political.

And, you know, like

a you’re

a kid and you’re feeling things and you can’t go to your parents

because they pretend like it didn’t happen and are happening.

And you know, and then if a teacher tries to help you,

then she’s indoctrinating you so you don’t do drugs .

You love it. Deter.

And so you just these kids have to be this.

Like what? You know what’s going on?

And then teachers, I feel like with my district

at least like we, it’s so frustrating because I’ve always felt super supported.

Now, he didn’t love the way they handled everything in the pandemic,

but I can also understand because of our stakeholders opinions, right,

that things could not be as strict as I wanted them to

be because we’re in the suburbs of told them. But.

For the most part of I felt supported.

And then this year came and, you know, it

gave grace the grace of the kids, which I am all for, right?

But like, no grace to us, just like, Oh, you,

oh yeah, you’re going to do everything you’re supposed to do.

And then a man adds and more things to your plate.

And when you come back from Christmas break, we’re going to do an all day

professional development about grades, grading policies with you.

And we’re like, because I have.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

And we articulate that like,

we can’t do this right now, not as a good conversation to have.

We need to have that. I am.

I am all about like I changed my grade impulsive teacher.

Maybe not now, but just maybe not rather.

Yeah,

maybe not this year.

Well, and I think last year everyone was so grateful that we were in school.

That’s what I was thinking, too.

And I think I mean, we may have talked about this in the past like, Oh, I’m

so thankful you know where your mask and then you get to go to school.

Social distancing.

You get to go to school.

Yeah. And so then this year.

I feel like everyone forgot how to do normal school.

Mm-Hmm.

So we hadn’t had this grace filled year as far as being a teacher,

and I see this with my kids to my own kids like they this year has been hard

and they really had to back up because this is back to normal ish, whatever.

Yeah, and back to normal. Yeah.

So it’s a struggle for sure.

And I really

thought, like when this year started, I was like, Oh, it’s going to be,

Oh yeah, and I have such such high hopes

and it’s got to be better than 2020 I.

And then we were all like, Oh,

yes, yes. Yes.

Multiple times I’ve been like, you remember when we were so eager

to get here we are.

I’m not sure, but I know how well you

how are you guys doing mental health wise with that?

Not like, you know,

quantifying, you know, everyone’s different problems or whatever.

But I mean, my last couple of years, I

I mean, I kind of got a bit of a better hold on my mental health

my last couple of years, but my last year or early, but

I don’t know, I was in such a place and coming home felt.

You know, like the relief I needed, like the escape

than I needed sometimes, I mean, what are you guys feeling with that?

Like how is how are your hearts and your heads doing?

You know, outside of school or in school too late?

How are you holding up?

Well, I don’t know about you, but I remember we got to Thanksgiving break

and I just like melted

and we didn’t do a lot.

DAYBREAK.

And I looked at my sister probably on like that Tuesday of the break,

and I will try anything I feel like myself again.

I do not realize I didn’t feel like myself.

Yeah.

And she was like, You’re acting like herself.

And, you know, like, you have no sound and I think is good.

I’m talking about like, say,

maybe, you know, judges have like, you can feel your internal sparkle.

Oh, yeah.

You don’t know you have an adult sister.

Mm-Hmm. And I did.

That’s not true. If I had it like the first month

and then that was gone because of.

How teachers have been talked about in hour

and even locally like we had, you know, parents

just a.

By name,

a couple of us just say things that I’m just like.

But it’s the furthest thing from the truth.

And it makes me so sad because

you want to indoctrinate your child and I want to teach your child critical

thinking skills and you don’t want them to know those that is like having a fit.

But anyway, I digress. No, I mean you.

But so like, I was just like, Oh my gosh, I feel like myself again.

And you know, I’m on break now and like,

you get that feeling that, but I’m like, so nervous.

I’m going to lose.

I know, I know. Like, it almost makes me.

I’ve never been this.

Normally, I flick

that second week of break, I kind of like barrel

in and I’m like, 00, does this OK, easy and like, what day is it?

And the other one,

and I haven’t done that this year because I’m like, OK, you want to

hold on to his place?

And so it’s like this constantly Sunday, scaries.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Oh, I know. And I might.

But I’m like trying to be like, rational about it.

Like Jimi.

Like, that’s not, you know, you can do this thing, OK?

And I love my kids.

It’s not make it. Yeah, some of them I could do without.

But like, you know, 98% of them other than a

water bottle versus water.

And you know, I like the I love them.

It’s just it’s just so many things layered on top of the other,

the other, you know, and.

I really 100% to like

just walking away and like, I can’t even think about it.

Like, I don’t bring anything home.

I used to bring things home and bring them home and not do them.

I had that intention.

Now I’m like, I don’t do that, but I just will not even take a backpacking,

you know?

I just need to take a water bottle that’s powerful

because I have to just walk away because I can’t

I just can’t take it home with me.

When did that change for you this year or has it been?

I feel like last year, OK, I think we’re in survival mode.

Yeah, for sure. And then this year too.

And I mean, we have amazing parents,

but we have struggled this year with we do as well.

I know it’s like not my first day on the air.

I know I’m like, Why are we giving them a voice? Friend

gets their

phones, their false equivalencies, man, just think that I feel like

there’s a lot of things that have been in question this year,

and I wish like, I need a t shirt that says, like

, trust the process or trust the person with the degree.

I love him. I love her.

Yeah.

Yes, I am doing

the best that I can and what’s best for you, darling?

And that’s been frustrating because, yeah, a lot of things that have been second

guessed and questioned.

And if it weren’t for my team, I’m on a team of people working.

And so the kids we share our kids, they go through all of us.

So I don’t if I would have not had them

this year and last year, yeah, for sure.

Because I can say, Wait, is this happening?

Yes. And compare those and we’ve got to come together

and figure out what to do

with the situation room behavior, academics, things like that.

I just I don’t think I could just do it if it was just me in my classroom.

No teachers have my teacher friends.

I’ve saved my life. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

And we’ve talked about things we’ve openly talked about, like

if you were not in the area like I would, I would have.

I mean, we had we lost, we’ve lost like four or five teachers

from beginning of school now through this school year.

Well, just the secondary level.

Goodness.

And like, you know, I teach at an affluent school

who pays really well, and there’s a lot of people wanted to be careful.

And like Bill Smith, it’s there.

And you know, we have 26 with open positions currently

because people are just

like teachers aren’t just

because you’re right, you are in a great place.

I’m in a great place.

I just wonder if that’s across the board.

It sounds like it.

Well, I just can’t imagine if we have that many open positions like.

Other less

desirable it was like, oh, that’s so true.

Don’t have that issue as well, right?

Because we do not even like the whole of the Pavlik.

You need something. You get it like it’s not.

There’s like this like scarcity mentality there.

But yeah, and in the people that I’ve left have left

education, they have it left and under different schools. Yes.

They were like, We’re done.

Yeah.

You know, and I think that’s different because I think in the past,

people have thought if I go to a different setting or Indian

school district, it’ll be different if my principal is the same.

The grass is greener, right?

Yeah, yeah.

That’s not what I’m saying, but it’s just it is.

There is a problem with like

how we’re doing things and it’s all catching up to this like,

you know, catching up to this point and we’re just feeling it.

And this is something Rick and I have talked a little bit about, like,

I have a point

across that this is going to be long, uneven,

but this is something that, like we’re seeing so much misplaced responsibility.

I feel like in, you know, society, in just our world like we’re seeing like

we’ve been holding one thing responsible and then we’re finding out like,

that’s really fucked up to be, you know, looking at that, for instance,

like the first thing that comes to my mind is like

rape culture and women and girls are getting raids.

And yet for so long, we’ve been equipping women and girls with like,

you know, self-defense techniques and like, don’t come out at night

and don’t wear bad clothes.

And we’re putting all of this responsibility on the females on.

It’s like, stop fucking raping us.

Like, or stop what?

We’re just not right? Yes. Or you’re just not right.

And so like, we get to draw on the responsibility,

like teaching these girls all these problems.

And then like the males like, you know, there’s responsibility there, too.

And also my own total responsibility.

Yeah, it’s not like it’s a false equivalency.

Yes, you get things because someone rapes you that I mean nothing.

They’re just a product of like, you were just wrong.

You know, a rapist got to you and raped you, likely

not no matter what gender like.

It’s like that.

But it’s also prevalent these dessert on me. Yes, like that.

We’re blaming the victim in any way like I think we can all in this

table agree with that.

But and on a smaller equivalency, but like pollution and how big manufacturers

keep giving us these products with like harmful material to our planet.

And yet we, as the consumer are expected to recycle and to do all the stuff

and take care of our planet when it’s like,

Um, we’re just consuming the stuff that’s being made

for us, like the real problem is much bigger than us, the consumer.

And this is education too.

Like, we are reaching to this point where like, we’re talking about self care.

We’re talking about mental health issues.

We’re talking about all of this stuff.

But like the main problem is like,

our schools are so fucking broken and people are not seeing it.

And like the way we’re doing things and it just it makes us like, totally.

Yes, yes.

Has brought Shine along with Ben

or even Zach Lee, but the the pandemic has brought it to a head and that we’re,

you know, the responsibility on teachers to, you know, take care of yourself.

And to do this, like the Desmond Tutu quote of like, there’s all of these bodies

going downstream that we’re, you know, we’re trying to save.

And then when

something we’re going to go upstream and figure out where they’re coming from.

I’m totally talking that. No, not so great.

But but like we need to like, there is a big systemic issue.

And do I have these ideas?

Because truly, I feel like this is

in my

internal, almost internalized misogyny is going to show itself

like it’s because it’s a female dominated.

It’s that’s what it is.

That’s that hands down is my my in my mind.

It is a female dominated field.

And so let’s talk about that.

Yeah, I, you know, because we’ll have so we had a

we had I did not go

because they I’m not a big fan of Cobra crackpots.

And so

they sent out an email that said we could do like a digital again,

like a face type office and people are doing

a good Google Meet and we could get drunk and watch it. OK.

That didn’t happen, so I asked my principal for one.

She said, Well, let me get it.

There was not one to be had, even though they had said that they were OK.

So I did take personal tech.

Not that.

And it was on grief and I wasn’t sure they wanted to be in it.

It was awfully for a classroom full of, you know, or

they had new beginnings, which is a bit a change in between.

So we get space out. OK.

Um, I can’t.

I’m like, Aw, that’s not how this is working, blah. So.

This hour, as its principal

asks for the one hour superdelegates up, apparently, and I get I wasn’t there,

so this is all and but it was pretty much the same story.

So I feel like this is what happened,

and we were told that we were not going to be the since, no matter how bad it got .

We were not going to wear masks to school unless we wanted to what was mandated.

And we all just need to get in line

to people rising to that day. Mhm.

And people were like, I’m in a group text

and people were just eager minds,

understandably, because it was like, So we’re just like, we’re just going to .

Pretend this isn’t happening.

You know, again, that false equivalency of those things.

So then he introduces our speaker,

which is on grief and trauma, and you’re like, what?

Maybe you didn’t cause trauma.

Like, what if you didn’t come in and?

Say that to the teachers before it didn’t, I’m saying it’s

like when they give you like

we have a meeting about self care and then like screaming

if we get our right to do something in the classroom,

you know, when we when our administration came

to our building this semester and like was kind of like trying to

take the temperature and I’m like, I don’t know if that’s something

that you really want to do right now, just in general, like not.

And I don’t think it’s just I think it’s everybody think everybody is.

And I think that I can also respect that they’re in a hard position.

Hands down completely.

Oh yeah.

And also, it’s like, I don’t know that we want to talk about this because like,

there’s not really a thing you can do because you’re not willing to or.

You’re choosing not to.

And I’m just going to say things that are, you know,

out of your hands because whatever reason? Mm.

But one of the things is said was like, we need time.

Like we you expect these grandiose and we have this vision for the district

and it’s incredible. I’m so excited about it.

And you want to do I want to like you and I get on board.

Like, like, these are the things I have been.

I haven’t got in trouble for, I guess, over the last like 14 years

like these are things.

Genuinely, I’ve been pulled to the principal’s office

and like, talk to about.

I am here for.

Like what do act like? Yeah, I got it.

It’s a different and it behind me. Like, Let’s go.

But also like, I need time to do the right thing to do it.

And you know, in my head, I’m like, We have this incredible distance learning

infrastructure built in.

Why can’t we toss a couple of days a year

where the kids just like to have anything to say?

And like, we had one.

Randomly, I can’t remember.

Oh, we have to state and it was Thursday night, so they didn’t want the kids to be.

This is a perfect example.

They didn’t want the kids driving back late.

They didn’t want them to be tied at school. And I totally agree.

Like, yeah, they should be able to go and celebrate and

have that revelry, and I’m good with it.

But the teachers had to report school, including the coaches

who busted

their assets to get to those boys to stay.

Because I’m sorry, I don’t care how great your players are.

If recruits aren’t good, you’re not going.

OK, great coaches are for players aren’t good John going.

And so I pitched if it like I’m department head for the history department

and half of them are kids and I’m like, That’s not our State Council meeting.

Like, you need to make this fix.

This like this needs to be fixed.

And I was told they have secrets all day and I was so frustrated because it’s

so we are a six day to until next year and we go to 61,

so we don’t know what’s going to happen next year. Like it’s probably been.

It’s been pretty in the bag. Black leaders,

at least taking it far right.

But the coaches have like it, like a tradition that they like.

Wait for the morning people to come together

and they like, I love that so much and I want them to have that chance.

And it makes it blows my mind that we’re OK

with making sure the kids are safe, which I agree.

I agree.

So what about us?

Like, what if I wanted to go to the end?

Like, we have a ton of parents whose kids like we have three or four

parents in the building whose children play for their teacher or

of some sort like a counselor or any counselor

whose kids play for the team.

And I’m like, So they have what it does.

It was it was an asynchronous day, like they just got on the computer,

did what they needed to do whenever they got to it.

The dumbest thing ever.

And I certainly don’t know all the decision making

that went into making that decision, all that stuff.

But like things like that would do for a teacher, right?

Like, we’re off lightly.

Yeah, that would be exactly.

What’s crazy is we talked about it.

So we have a bag.

I feel like I’m having no right to do so.

We did this big

Tulsa race massacre.

So Oklahoma history, obviously, it’s part of our curriculum.

So the kids in English read Remembering,

which is like a fictionalized novel which is so good,

written by a teacher who’s from Tulsa.

She’s professor but theater.

And so we the first we come back and we have a good day.

And then the history teachers like Hammer for like three weeks,

the historical background.

So like, we give them the background knowledge

and then they read the book and the book is awesome.

And so it’s a big deal.

I’m like, it’s kind of like.

Become this thing that we like

kind of like a show pony as it should be, because it’s really great.

We’ve done a lot to put time into it

and our principle we got to do was here

and she’s been awesome to all of us sometimes.

She does have a whole day,

but I’m like, We are doing the thing you’re asking us to do.

We are making these incredible,

innovative things, lessons

and cross, you know, classical curricular lessons

and that we’re so proud of, but you won’t even give us the time to work on that.

So like, instead of coming back on the fourth

and having a day with my department and the English department,

because just the camera, last minute details, I just go over some stuff

like one of my history teachers and I have been

doing some research over the break.

Let me find some maps that we had didn’t know about previous.

And like, I’m just going to have to email them with information

because I don’t have time to be like, we need to put this end to,

you know, and you know, like, you get things done,

but like you get more minds

and in that discussion and it’s like, Oh, but what if we did

this, you know, like, yeah, it’s like, yes, you just kind of have each other.

And that’s and that’s magic. Like, That’s great.

The magic gets to have, you know, it’s just like, Oh, yeah, yes, yeah, yeah,

because you just want to fill up every single moment of our time with .

And again, it’s not not important.

Yes, of course.

It’s literally like so important.

But you know.

You know.

Do anything to add to that.

You don’t have to. I just know you did.

I really got so angry about it for these names.

Now I do feel like our time.

Our time

to collaborate with our people has kind of shrunk.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. For sure.

With programing? Yeah.

All that fun stuff.

Yeah.

What’s something that you guys wish

like the public or parents or anyone that’s, you know,

not in teacher or world, what do you wish

they understood about

? Teaching your classroom,

I don’t know, I feel like we get very misunderstood,

and I feel like there’s some if statement, you know,</