Episode 3: Hurry Sickness
Self-Care Episode! Erin & I asked you to take a moment each school day to check-in with yourself in our last self-care episode, but we wanted to discuss what you might find when you do.
We will walk you through the 10 symptoms of Hurry Sickness…yes, it’s a thing. These are likely symptoms you’ll see if you begin to sit and reflect on yourself in an honest way.
Once you can accurately see how you’re doing, you can begin to decide what small and positive changes you can begin to make.
It’s a journey of small wins ya’ll. Join us!
Get in touch.
We’d love to hear from you. Send us a note with a little about what you’re working on, what you need, when you need it, how we can help, and we’ll be happy to answer any questions you may have. Don’t be shy…do it today.
Welcome back to the Relate
Then Educate podcast, it’s Erin and Rick again this week.
Last week we talked about taking a moment when and really checking
in with ourselves and taking an accurate look at where we are in the moment.
And, you know, acknowledging maybe some less than positive
places that we’ve, you know that we’re in.
And then this week we’re going to talk about what we might actually discover
once we do that.
And it’s a lot of growing pains and stuff like that.
But we’re going to kind of discuss what we can do kind of a few plans.
So we throw out, you know this this very mild suggestion
to take some time at the end of your school day
and check in with yourself, you know, take the inputs out,
turn the lights off, shut the door on that time and just sit at your
whether it be your desk or whether it be a students desk
in the corner where nobody can see in your classroom.
The idea is just to be alone alone with yourself and to sit with yourself.
And if that is for just a few breaths,
if that’s for two minutes, five minutes, ten minutes,
just starting that habit is good. Yes.
But in response to that, you know,
both myself and Aaron
had this realization at some point in our career
where we just didn’t want to be who we were anymore.
And I’m speaking for myself here, Aaron, but I didn’t want to live
like that anymore where I was overworked, overstressed.
My mood was totally dependent upon
how other people perceived me to be through my own perception.
And so it was just it was just bonkers.
I was just exhausted and I needed to do something different.
And that’s where this whole thing started.
So what about you?
I think I got to a point where it was.
I was putting, you know,
any sort of help for so long because it just felt,
you know, unattainable and unrealistic and just hard.
And so then once I got to the point where I was like, I
I don’t want to keep going like this, like, this isn’t working for me.
This the rest of my life would not be.
But this is what the rest of my life was feeling like.
yeah, until I got to that place.
But then it was kind of such a big open like, OK, well, now I’ve acknowledged
this, that this is not where I want to be.
But what like, it’s
just so yes, it’s so daunting now.
Yeah, and that’s what we wanted
to kind of explore today is, you know, if you take that time
at the end of the school day, like you’re at the point
where you have to do something and you do something and you’d basically
just take a break, what is it that you might discover and like?
There’s a real possibility it might freak you out of being
just the enormity of what you’ve been ignoring for so long.
And again, we’re speaking out of personal experience here.
So we’re all about
when we talk about professional development
and when we approach self-care through relate, then educate.
We talk about cornerstone habits,
and this is just a it’s a small habit and it has there.
There’s two parts cornerstone is.
It’s essential you’re making a very, very small change in your life
that if you make it a habit, you will continue this every day.
And if you combine a good change and time together,
then you’re going to radically change your life
over the extended period of time.
So taking that break in your day to check in with yourself
is a keystone habit.
It’s something that is attainable.
It’s something that you can do.
It’s something that’s really built into your schedule,
except for those teachers across the country that are going virtual,
which it will be honestly a little bit harder for you
because you don’t have that schedule of your day like you do when you’re at
we want you to
get a win and you’ll get some benefit from taking a break just by being,
you know, just by resting, acknowledging that maybe your day was difficult.
There’s some benefit in that.
But we’re going to go a bit deeper,
and it’s only right for us to acknowledge
that what you might find in that moment
may be pretty grotesque.
And and it’s but there’s no shame in this.
It is where we are at.
It’s taking an ugly, accurate look.
I mean, that’s what we have to get there. Yes.
And part of it is going to be ugly. Yeah.
I read a book years ago that talked about, you know, we
we all hear about stopping to smell the roses.
Yeah, but it’s equally as beneficial to stop and smell the garbage so that
oh yeah, so that you can identify, OK, this is not good,
and I need to take some steps to the right.
So let’s let’s get into this.
I’m reading a book currently by John
Mark Komar, and it’s called Ruthless The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry.
And it’s a good book.
There’s some really, really solid things in there.
I want everybody to know, you know, if you’re looking for a book on burnout,
if that’s if that feed you to read about it
and get informed about it, it is a good book.
There’s a really good things in there.
He is a pastor, so it is, you know, equal parts,
you know, psychology and religion and Christianity.
So if that were to add a little bit of problem,
it just may not be the right book for you.
But regardless, his search
he has is such a good grasp on what we are talking about
because he has his own story with regard to self care. So
let’s jump in to some things
that he discussed in this book, which is called Hurry Sickness.
And this was really began
to be defined in the 1950s by Meyer Friedman, and he was a cardiologist,
and he realized in the 1950s that type A personalities, doers, people
that went to achieve had a much higher risk of having heart problems,
which is a very common trait like type A.
Our teachers often very, very frequently.
So we’re talking to you guys, doers, leaders,
you know, you think about your school day, you are leading and doing all day long.
You went to achieve, you want to be good at what you do.
So that comes with some benefits and some drawbacks, and that’s where we’re at.
So to define what her sickness is.
It’s just really the struggle to achieve more in less time.
And with the advent of, you know, technology
and people being equipped with so many more tools for efficiency.
I think we’re just all kind of
unhealthy place for achievement because you can constantly achieve
different means, whether it be technology or just platforms or what have you.
But you’re also inundated with proof that other people are achieving more.
And you you’re so aware of everyone else’s.
Yeah, so it’s not a good spot, so let’s talk about these ten
that maybe you can identify with, maybe you can’t, and that’s great.
And even if some of them because I don’t know if I identify
with all of them, but some of them and really,
I just encourage you guys to take an accurate picture of your heart.
We’ve done that. We talked about that last week.
And then I really think that this is a great next step to like, OK, crap.
Now I’ve realized that, like, my life is kind of out of balance.
You know, these are some good things,
so just take each one as they are, whether they apply to you or not.
Yes, they’re good.
We’re just identifying the problems.
So number one, you are irritable
or frustrated on the regular.
So it’s not abnormal for you to just have a low grade
negative vibration in your life, right to just being irritable.
Is that something that you absolutely.
I think that I think I talked about this last week a little bit that I was just
you know, my students were seeing anything but positive
and happy and I was loving it.
I mean, it wasn’t like I was faking it. I mean, it was real.
But then my husband got
all of my grumpy leftovers and I was I was just any time
I was out of the classroom or even in the classroom, away from kids.
I just had this low level like my heart was just grumbly.
I was complaining I was being negative about things.
And you know, that’s great to be.
That’s normal stuff to feel all that.
But it was just that was far exceeding the positive thoughts that I was having
or the positive, you know, whatever I was presenting to other people,
it was definitely more negative and sometimes even just angry.
I was getting mad. It was just I.
It was so easy to get there.
So you’re you’re already irritable when you wake up.
So whatever happens that disrupts you just adds to that too.
You get too angry, really quick.
And I feel like it.
Just I would feel
like when something
I can’t even think of an example when set, when something would happen.
My mindset at that time was like, again, of course.
Of course, this happened like.
And that is not a natural way that I operate,
but I was operating like that for several years.
I felt like it because it just felt like one more thing
like, I’m already at my freaking break.
Like, like, I am at my limit.
And then, of course, of course, that happened to me.
And that is,
I hate how that sounds and feels now, but that is how I was feeling then.
Yes, absolutely. And
for me, it often
would manifest itself, not at school, but at home.
So, you know, my wife and my kids
would get some explosions that I don’t like.
That’s not how I operate in life, but they would receive that
because I had nothing left.
So the irritability would spike later on in the day
when I was, you know, had decision fatigue.
You know, all my willpower was gone.
I was physically tired, mentally tired,
and then anything would happen at home and then they would get the worst of it.
So it’s always the people that are closest to you
that kind of receive the the short end of the stick with regard to that.
So that’s number one or two your hypersensitive.
And some of these are interconnected, but being hyper center sensitive,
for instance, if something happens in your day and the reasonable response
and you know, the reasonable response is maybe a three on a scale of a ten,
but you blow past three and go right to a ten.
And because of all of, you know, some of the other things
that we’ll talk about, you have no regulator, you have no space.
Yeah, that can absorb
maybe a small frustration or maybe something that doesn’t go well.
And as I’m talking about this, I remember
I remember I had been at the school for three years
and I loved my job, but I was I was tired, I was burnt out and
I was, you
know, called into the principal’s office to have a meeting.
And it wasn’t bad. It was.
They said, Listen, we want to do, we want to change what you’re doing.
Well, every year, my schedule had changed somewhat in some fashion.
You know, so first year I taught like literally everything, and it was horrific.
And then the next year it was just world history, and I found that I love that
the after that it was AP Bureau, this particular,
you know, the end of that year and going into the next, they said,
We want to make your world history, classroom and inclusion classroom.
And I didn’t fully know what that meant.
I kind of knew what that meant.
But what set me off was that it was a change.
And so I left one more.
I have one more change and I left the principal’s office and I was walking
through the gym to the coaches office and it was empty and I threw my keys.
You know, the massive amount?
Yeah, I was.
So I threw it at the wall and I yelled, I screamed.
And it was just this five second explosion that when I was done.
And all that was out of sync, wow, that was weird.
I never do that, yeah, ever.
Why would I do that?
But I didn’t have the capacity to absorb change in that moment.
Number three, restlessness.
When you have the opportunity to stop. Yeah.
And you hate it.
It’s I would even avoid like because my mind was just so busy,
my mind was just going in so I couldn’t rest.
Like, I couldn’t rest of my mind without sleeping.
But yes, it just it’s impossible.
It was so hard, even like a shower was hard because you’re alone.
You don’t have the TV on like you can have music or whatever on, I guess.
But like even just being in the shower did not feel relaxing and,
you know, restful because my mind was just so restless
and it was so much work to have to, like, be alone with all that it was just like
Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, my thoughts just and mostly negative.
Yeah, there were just all over.
So the vacations were a trip.
You took a mental trip because when you take a vacation,
you know, cognitively you understand I don’t have anything to do.
Yeah, and I’m I’m done.
And this is the what I’m referring to is when
it was before really cell
phones took hold like they time way back in the late nineties, early 2000.
Yeah, way back.
And I I was so conflicted
because my mind and body wanted that activity.
They wanted that fix.
And my wife and I were sitting on a beach and I was antsy.
I was uncomfortable
and I didn’t understand why.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, like the opportunities to stop and to pause
and to ponder and to just, you know, reflect.
I hated that.
I hated it because my mind would go to the the dark places, the,
you know, the irritability, the hypersensitivity, the
the wounds that I had accumulated over the past school year.
That’s what my vacation time was like.
Yeah, it was fun.
It was crazy. And how fun for your wife?
Yeah. Oh, but yeah, that’s it’s so hard
when you’re there.
It’s so hard to like.
Climb out of that and see, like I read a freaking beach like you do.
This should be so great.
I know for years because of the schedule I like,
I was coaching girls basketball and our schedule for summer basketball
would end at the end of July or sue me end of June.
So my wife, ever the planner, would schedule our vacation
immediately after, you know, around the July fourth time period,
and she would just plan it from beginning to end.
It was great.
And all I needed to do is to either get on the plane or get in the car.
But she knew and I knew in the kids knew honestly, that
the first is say we’re going to be gone seven days, the first three days.
That’s just not going to be.
Just give him some space.
And then day four, I would begin to like literally come out of the
of the fog into vacation, into vacation mode.
And then, oh, it’s it’s him is bad.
And I hated it.
I didn’t like that.
Yeah, but it was the reality of the moment,
and for years I didn’t realize what was going on,
and then I was able to identify it, talked to my wife about it,
and she was able to accommodate give me a little bit of space.
Don’t make me make a whole lot of decisions early on.
That’s that reminds me like my husband always used to refer to me
as Summer Aaron.
When I was in the good, like just loving life, I was positive.
I was fun to be around.
And here we had summer air.
And because it would take a while after when summer started for me to get there,
you know, the decision, fatigue, all of the craziness.
And then so even during like Christmas break at the end of it,
this is summer air and summer air is here because I just,
yeah, you find you can get to the point, hopefully where it’s like, OK,
all of that stuff, I’m seeing a light and like life is good.
That’s a very sweet spot to be,
especially when you’re that’s not how I existed for so long.
And I think the trick is to have summer, Aaron.
Maybe it’s diminished somewhat.
Yes, all the time. Yes, right?
So it spikes, obviously in the summertime and maybe at Christmas.
But you don’t lose that person that you love so much the school year.
And that’s that’s the key.
That’s the key.
Number four, workaholism or
being hyper active
to do checklist type stuff,
just being active, being able to say, I did that point to this,
I have value because I did this today or that today or the.
These ten things today
being drunk off of accomplishment,
no matter how large or small the accomplishment is right
that, you know, I don’t think.
I don’t think teachers need that explained.
Yeah, I don’t actually, I know I just keep having
1,000,000 examples and like, you know, we honor it.
It’s like, you know, grading papers.
For me, I keep thinking about like elementary teachers cutting out things
and putting them on the bulletin boards and say, I don’t like the little,
you know, things that you can say.
I finish this
number five, lack of empathy.
So your stores of energy to connect
to another person, which does take energy
to be present in the moment, to be able
to read their, you know, their facial expressions
and just the overall vibe of the person to be able to hear them.
And what they’re actually saying takes energy.
And when you don’t have that energy, you’re not able to do that.
Now here’s here’s
here’s what I want to point out is
teachers are so advanced in
emotional intelligence, and empathy is a huge part of that.
And so they’re gifted in that area.
But if they don’t have the source of energy
they need, they’re not going to be as good at it.
And how do you how do you effectively teach a kid
when you can’t really tell if you’re getting through?
Or sometimes, like, I didn’t even care.
Yes, I’m spraying this information
across the room, but your heart’s not heart’s not in it.
I don’t really care if if they pick it up or not.
So what do you think about that?
Because I know you love kids.
I know and I’m thinking of that.
one is I’m chewing on it a lot because.
I don’t know.
I am wired, very empathetic,
I am a feelings person,
and I’m just thinking
when I wasn’t able to harness
that, the things that make me and give me joy
in the connecting to people , I mean, that is life for me.
And so not being able, I’m just when you read that,
I’m just able to see, like
when I sing, how that I wasn’t fully myself
because I wasn’t able to be the empathetic feeling heart person.
I wasn’t able to, like,
be the most effective teacher I could have been because like,
you know, the superpowers like getting to the kid’s heart
and, you know, connecting and all that kind of stuff.
And I wasn’t harnessing that alone.
I certainly wasn’t harnessing that with my personal life.
And so I’m just seeing how much that read that one again.
Yeah. So lack of empathy. Yes.
And you just don’t have the energy stores to devote to that. Yes.
And I needed that.
I needed so desperately for me to feel like me.
I needed to have empathy, but I just didn’t.
I wasn’t able to harness or, yeah, I wasn’t able to access it or something
because my mind was just so deep
in the other stuff in the in the fog.
Yeah, I I could have limited empathy on that.
And this sounds gross
and this is why this podcast is not for civilians, it’s for teachers.
I had the capacity to empathize with those that had the most value to me.
And for me, OK, that was my, you know, the
my top players on my basketball team.
And that sounds so gross to say and guys, I apologize for this.
But it was it was the reality of my world.
I could and needed to empathize with, you know, my top players
because they were providing benefits to me and I was invested in them.
But because my capacity was limited,
you know, outside of I mean, depending on the year, it could be one
kid, it could be three, it could be five, but rarely was it beyond that .
And so everybody else was a blank face to me.
I feel sick saying that out loud,
big, you know, because of the perception.
But I I believe that somebody who hears
this is going to be like, Yeah, I know that’s that’s me. So.
And you also are being like that when you were operating at unhealthy rick levels.
Of course, yes.
Healthy Rick doesn’t operate like that. Yes.
Like my empathy
on a normal day for help is almost too much
because I read everybody’s face and his mannerisms.
I want everybody to be OK.
And so it’s just exhausting. Exhausting.
But you know that
it does take energy, and when you don’t have that energy, it’s diminished.
And it’s just a part of the realities, the limitations of life.
Number six, we’re halfway there.
Priorities are just jacked up.
Yeah, you’re making choices.
You regularly would not, but you’re making the choices
based on probably your reactionary,
your art of survival.
Maybe it’s out of just an environment of scarcity
and the higher level priorities in your life.
Just, I don’t know.
You just can’t accommodate them at the at the moment.
You can’t even see them like, yeah, you can’t.
I feel like it’s almost like you can’t see anything but the unhealthy your choice.
Like, I don’t know.
I don’t know what that’s about, but we talk about the why.
Like, especially today, you know, with all that’s going on in education,
especially just, you know, right now and the the last couple of years,
I feel it’s important that we talk about the
why of what we do and not the what or the how.
Because this right here, the priorities are messed up
when you can’t identify why you do what you do anymore.
is seized up that like that’s the motor understanding
why you do what you do feeds you energy and life.
But when you can’t even see that, yeah,
you have no ability to restore yourself.
Oh yes, absolutely.
So priorities are a little messed up. But
but we we keep going.
Number seven, don’t take care of your body the way that you know you should.
Or maybe, maybe summer, Aaron did investors.
I that I know I did. She did.
But in that moment, in that very fatigued place,
the choices just aren’t there and willpower is
it is a finite capacity like you.
It takes energy to have willpower and to make those choices.
So if you have a diminished energy source,
then you’re not going to be able to do that very well.
So instead of going to the fruits and vegetables,
you know, I would go right to the dairy,
the frozen guide.
I’d go to the ice cream, the frozen variety.
I kind of forgot I was going to say it’ll come back to me.
It’s going to be really good, though, I promise.
But I, you know, I’m sure it would be, and we’ll run around to that, if you can.
But you know, you’re tired or sleepy.
You get sick regularly, you know,
just not taking care of your body has just
it can take you further down.
Over the long term, if you if you don’t make
some good choices with regard to that, no eight can turn out, please.
one just little thing because summer Erin back to her.
She like my my decisions for the day during the summer and be like,
When are we going to cook for lunch?
What are you going to cook for dinner?
you know, other little thing that there would be
some days during the summer that that would be the extent of the decision
that I was making.
I could put all of my effort and energy into making the most delicious,
healthful dinner and all this wonderful stuff. But
I don’t know.
I just wish it could balance out.
And so I could continue making those wiser decisions
that are going to make my body feel better
and are going to make my mind feel better and are going to help me sleep better.
I don’t know, but it’s just so hard to go to.
And so for me, like meal prep
and planning was is the only way I could balance
those out is like have already having my decisions of meals made for me.
So that’s just a little practical thing that that’s
yeah, totally what worked for me cooking up stuff on Sunday.
Yeah, putting it in containers for the week.
Yeah. And riding that out. Yeah, absolutely.
And I had a refrigerator in my classroom
and I would even like on Monday bring all of my lunches for the week .
And like, I’d have everything so I wouldn’t even have to like,
remember to bring something to school.
Like I just.
And that’s huge, because when you get to Wednesday,
Thursday, Friday, you are fatigued. Oh yeah.
And if if all of those decisions have already made all the actions been done,
then you are you’re going to be able to ride out absolutely full time.
Yeah. That’s great advice.
Number eight, you become
inclined to escape your situation or
or the moment that you are in, which is incredibly easy.
And whether you do that
through movies, you know, Netflix, that kind of thing.
Or maybe it’s food, maybe you drink way too much,
whatever it is
that that allows you to soothe yourself
and to mask what you’re feeling, whatever that is.
And it could be literally anything.
And a caveat to that is that is not always unhealthy.
Yeah, it’s it’s always like there are times when a nice glass of wine
at the end of the day is great, but what happens if that is the norm?
And what happens if that you know, that activity
becomes so regular and routine that it’s just built in?
There’s no choice.
Yeah, you just do that every day.
And again, it could be anything but
what we’re talking about here
is to be able to recognize these things,
to be able to sit with yourself to know, Oh, I’m doing this out of habit.
Yeah, I sat because I want to eat this entire pizza.
Yeah, there’s just I’m soothing myself. Yes.
So escapist behavior is so prevalent.
It’s so prevalent that just recognizing how you do, it has been a.
Officials, so that maybe you can begin to make
some choices rather than it just be habitual.
Number nine, spiritual
emptiness and Ernie are both sensitive to the fact that some people have
are repulsed by church or religion.
We get that.
And that’s not really what we’re talking about here.
It can be for you, but it’s not exclusive.
So spiritual emptiness is that deep well of life in you.
And if it’s empty, you know it.
Yes, but you recognize it or not.
I mean, you know it.
You just feel hollow inside what makes you.
You the things you need and the things that like, light your fire
when your spirit does not have access
or whatever to those, then yeah, you just feel
dim. You feel, yeah, your spirit is on fire.
Well, that this is what we’re going to look at.
And this all of this is a feedback loop, either positive or negative.
But when you are feeling empty,
How do I put this?
It’s so important that you invest, and I’m going to use that word
specifically that you invest in your spiritual health.
So you do the things that you love to do,
so that maybe reading that may be going to church, that maybe
having drinks with your friends, it may be sitting it down
at a meal and sharing conversation and things like that.
It could be whatever it is for.
You know that and invest in that.
Because when you do, you will leave that
that place in that moment and that time you will leave with more.
Yes, your cup will begin to fill.
And when that happens, you will have more life to invest in
other things, taking care of your body, going to bed at a reasonable hour.
All of these things and then you begin to fill your cup, spiritual cup,
physical cup, mental cup and you become the whole person you become.
Yes. Is, you know,
the person you want to be right?
Yes, that’s good.
So spiritual emptiness can get kind of heavy.
There can be some baggage to that.
But please don’t add that baggage to this.
This is your you can say your heart.
Fill your heart because your heart will then give you back
the energy and the life that you probably so desperately want right now.
The last one is isolationism
and with teachers.
Teachers can and often do become siloed
in their classroom or with their specific group.
Maybe the people that work to the right and the left with you in the hall,
isolating yourself is is not a good choice.
I read a book years ago that talked about addiction
and addiction is a bigger issue.
Me, isolation is a bigger predictor of
of that kind of behavior, drug addiction, things like that than anything else.
So loneliness, not being able to identify that life is a little bit bigger
and maybe more beautiful than than it is around you at the moment.
So your friends, your family to begin to show you, Hey, life
is more dynamic, life is more giving, life is more beautiful.
Hopefully, if if your friends and family do not do that for you.
You need to find some better friends.
This one’s interesting to me because
I think a lot of my fellow teachers
who I worked with would be like, Well, Aaron, isolated and I did like
my whole career was, you know, do what I needed to do with people.
But then I go back to my room
and I might never ate lunch with other teachers and stuff.
But I also I also needed that a little bit because I am introverted
and like, that’s how I regroup, and I need a lot of regrouping time.
Like, I like being social and I like making connections with people.
But it does take a lot out of me, and so I need a lot of, you know, whatever.
And so I isolating is very comforting, comfortable to me.
And I definitely in unhealthy times.
I isolated big time.
And that’s interesting that that’s a big indicator of,
you know, forming unhealthy habits and addictions and stuff.
Because I mean, this is kind of therapy right now
hitting me in the gut that like that I took isolation.
I needed it, but I took it and ran with it.
And I think that’s kind of where a lot of the darkness
Yeah, maybe the darkness can consume you when you are alone because it.
Takes energy to maybe look up.
Yeah, but if you have no choice because your friend is saying, let’s go
yes or tell me about it,
let’s talk about it and they can give you an outside perspective that can allow you
to see the light in your world rather than the darkness.
But you know, there is a sense, and I don’t want to diminish
the fact that introverts need alone time.
That is life giving. Use that.
But understand that
engagement with your family and friends or in, you know, social aspects.
And again, that could be, you know, church or
Whatever it is,
it’s important that you do that and engage in that from time to time.
Not all the time, because that’s not healthy, either.
But engage in that on our web site.
Relate. Then Edgecumbe.
We have, you know, a self-care resources and its relate and educate
backslash self, dash care, dash resources.
And on that page, right at the top is just a check in,
just a series of questions that allow you to check in with yourself.
one of the questions toward the bottom is this like
How often are you socializing?
How have you?
Have you been to a, you know, a congregant activity
in the last week or two or whatever?
It’s because you need that social interaction,
whether you feel like it or not, it is needed.
It is necessary.
We are built to be around other people.
But one aspect of this one little twist to
this is when you isolate from yourself,
you can’t remember
who you were or who you want to be,
and you won’t allow yourself to sit with that uncomfortable truth
because you will turn on Netflix or you’ll grab a beer
or whatever activity that you go to your, you know, we whether kids
we called that pacifier, the binky and I went, when
you know, when I was thinking about this, I was like, We all have our binky.
You know, we all have that that we just go to, we opt towards
so that we don’t have to think we don’t have to to, you know,
we don’t have to feel we are to sit with that uncomfortable truth about ourselves.
You can isolate from yourself as well through distraction
who are guilty.
Yeah, that’s a that’s a lot.
I mean, it’s a long list and you know, these are ten.
Again, these are ten symptoms of hurry sickness.
And I at my worst, it was all ten.
All ten of these were like at max,
and it was really unhealthy for me.
And I began to make small changes in my life that allowed me to,
first of all, identify these things and then address them
little by little, by little.
But again, the feedback loop making small changes, getting small wins
gives you the energy to come back and see what else might I do
that can help my life?
Yeah, I look back. I have
felt all of those too at the
same time and, you know, different ones throughout my life too.
I think in some of my darkest
or lowest times, I.
I don’t know, I just it was
I was so gone away from like me and, you know, the things I needed my
what my spirit just thirsted for what I needed, those things.
I wasn’t filling my life with those things.
And so I don’t know.
It took me once I realized where I was and then acknowledge,
yes, I’m feeling all of these things
like I just was.
It was so like this weird
middle place where I didn’t know
like who I saw the need for change,
but and I was just kind of like doing these little steps.
Like you said, just because that’s the only thing I knew
to do is to meal prep and to go to bed at 9:30
every night and like, OK, I know I need to do these things.
And it was sometimes annoying, but I just like, I just kept doing those.
And then I remember a long time.
I mean, it could have been maybe a year even.
But there is one day in my classroom where I was doing fun stuff.
You know, some big fun stem project now sitting at tables with kids.
And I just, like, suddenly had a present moment where I was like, I feel like me.
And that was a big deal because I had I had not felt like that in years when I say feel like me, what do you mean?
What do I mean?
I feel like my mind was a little quieter, like I was like, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing.
My thoughts are just constant.
Sometimes I was in the moment I felt I was in my happy place because I was in my classroom with my students that I love so dearly and we were doing it was like a picture of my why, I guess kind of like a picture of like this is why I wanted to be a teacher since I was second in second grade myself.
And I love it and this is fun and I’m here and I’m present and I’m like, I felt like not like I’m kicking ass, but I’m not surviving.
I had been surviving for so long.
I had like, I was, you’re thriving.
Yeah, I was doing something else.
I mean, I don’t know.
I just feel like and it wasn’t like I felt it wasn’t like a feeling of like,
Oh, I feel amazing.
It was just how it kind of illustrates how low I was feeling.
That like just feeling a little taste of myself was like such a sweet thing.
And like just that, that was kind of a big moment that I was like, OK, these steps are working, and it was just a little validation or whatever it was.
And just, I want more of that. It was a win.
Yeah, that’s right.
Oh, I love it so much.
Well, as you were talking about that, I just really felt in my heart that there are other teachers that are listening to this and they have a story and we’re all about getting teachers’ stories out.
If you have a story of the struggle that you’re going through or the win that you had in that and that moment in the classroom,
or maybe it was at home, it was just a realization that you had.
We would really want to hear your stories and you can do that
in a couple of different ways if you’re on Instagram or Facebook.
You can, you know, do a post and tag us in it.
We will see it and we will repost that thing.
If if you want to email us.
Go to relate, then education.
Go to get in touch at the top right.
And just jot down a few sentences.
Let us hear your voice and we will get your story out to other teachers.
Because here’s the thing the reason why we’re doing this and sharing this very deeply personal stuff is we want you to know that you’re not alone and that we are collectively as educators in this together, and we can better operate through this if we know each other
stories and are empowered by your wins and our wins.
And it just again, it’s a positive feedback loop that we want to perpetuate.
So if you would like to get in touch with us, please do that.
Please reach out to us.
We want to hear what you have to say.
Oh, this has been good. Yes.
I wanted to mention we have.
I was fortunate enough to be on Charles Williams podcast earlier in the week.
It’s going to come out, I believe, on Friday.
It’s called the Counter Narrative Podcast, and Charles is an educator.
He works in Chicago, has a huge heart not only for students,
but for teachers as well and for education in general.
And we had a great discussion.
And you can hear that at the Counternarrative podcast,
he’s on all the podcast channels, you can find that and listen to that.
I believe it will come out on Friday.
So we want to give a shout-out to Charles.
He’s doing some great work.
we’re just, yeah, we’re going to cruise through the rest of the week.
We hope that you have a wonderful week wherever you’re at, whether you’re at home, on a computer or whether you’re in the classroom this week.
We hope that you are blessed.
Absolutely. We love you guys.